In Celebration

 Just over a week ago, on Mom’s 78th birthday weekend, we celebrated her life. 

Family and friends, from near and far, came together and it was all that we’d hoped it would be. 

We met at the Edmond’s Waterfront Center. A beautiful setting to gather in our shared desire to honor Mom and the full and meaningful life she lived.

Mom’s good friend, Ruby, generously made and gifted these bookmarks.

Erin did the beautiful flowers with such thoughtfulness and care.

Eric and Shawn took on the majority of the planning for this event and did a great job!

I made a special slideshow for Mom.

To view it, click here: In Celebration

It was so wonderful to have so many people she loved-and who loved her- all gathered together in one room. Those who got up to speak moved us all. Each person shared something so special. It was such a heartfelt tribute and one we will never forget. Later, even the staff at the event, 

who had never met mom told us they were moved to tears. 

Han had the great idea of hanging a rope (77 feet long to symbolize each year of Mom’s life) and having everyone tie a piece of fabric (lots of which was my grandmother’s) to the rope to make a garland. As we tied the fabric on he suggested we do it with a wish, an intention, or a prayer. We will hang this garland in her garden at the Mill and it will symbolize how she connected all of us.

We will also tie some more on, to symbolize all who love her but couldn’t be here in person.

What a wonderful symbol of of one of her superpowers: connection!

Our cousin, Dana, brought this special piece of fabric she made (!) to tie on the rope. So beautiful!

We so appreciate everyone who joined us on this special day and could feel all the love coming our way from those who would’ve liked to be there but couldn’t. 

(I wasn’t able to take many photos but appreciate those who did and am including some I’ve been sent here so those who couldn’t make it can get a feeling for the day. There are many people who were there who aren’t captured here. I’d love to add photos to this album if anyone has any they took and want to share.).

I will close with a quote that Mom’s childhood friend of over 70 years,

 Charlotte, shared when she spoke. 

It is a big comfort.

One of my favorite photos of Mom on a whale watching trip in Maui.

❤️

~ I've created an album here on Flickr ~

 I will keep adding to over time, 

as I come across great photos of Mom.

 ~~~

Mom so appreciated having this blog as a way to share with so many.

It makes me happy to know how much it meant to her.

I'll continue to share updates of my life, and memories of her, I'm sure, 

on my own blog: Unexpected Detours

Thanks so much for all of your love and caring to her (& us all )

as you've read along and shared in our journey.

Almost Two Months

Seems like the right time for a little check in....to thank you for your caring and support and to let you know that we're doing as well as we can be in dealing with life on its new terms.

I've spent this last month here at Mom's house beginning (or rather, continuing) the process of letting go. She has a puzzle table up in her room and this reminds me of that. It's like she's completed the puzzle of her beautiful life...and now it's up to me to gently and lovingly begin to take it apart. No easy feat. Its been a connector with her, though, and a way I've channeled my grief: to really edit things down to the most meaningful. And Mom's house was nothing if not meaningful! 

The cards and messages we've received have meant so much...as have the many generous contributions to the "Legacy Bench" which will be placed in her honor at the botanical gardens. She would be so touched!

Her yard is currently like a botanical garden. She planted the giant "golden chain" tree when it was just tiny. It is really glorious.

The other day, something really moving happened. For the past 32 years (!), Serem, has worked on Mom's yard for her. He's taken care of the big stuff so she could tend to the smaller stuff. They've been a great team and she always appreciated how he'd go above and beyond. He knew her parents and her kids and her grandkids (and many of her family and friends). Anyway, the other evening, I looked out the window and there he was. He had brought two big bouquets of roses and put one in the front yard and one in the back and proceeded to do a very personal Buddhist ritual. He lit a candle and stayed until it burned all the way down. I went out and joined him and we shed some tears and hugged--and it was just so special to me.

And later today, Han arrives for the month of June. So thankful for that. We will work together and begin winding life up here as I prepare for my next chapter, which will be living in Holland. I so wish that I could begin that chapter with Mom here as a home base. But, it is a comfort to feel like with every step I'm taking, Mom would approve. Knowing I'm doing just what she'd want me to do is my guiding light.

❤️❤️❤️

Happy Mother's Day

My first ever photo with Mom!

~~~

On this tender Mother's Day, 

I received the best possible gift in the world:

all four kids, Aidan, Isabel, Zack, & Eli with me for the day!

We spent the day here at Mom's/Nana's house.

Even while her physical absence leaves such an indescribable ache,

her loving energy is here....

allowing us to laugh and walk the dogs, and make her famous tostados--

knowing it's exactly how she'd want it to be.

Reading through the cards and keepsakes she saved from each of us,

her presence, devotion and caring shine through.

I'm so glad I told her (in more than one card)

that she has always been the "wind beneath my wings".

Nothing has changed in that regard.

We carry your heart with us. We carry it in our hearts.

~~~

This blog has been such a great way to communicate. Mom appreciated it so much as a way to share updates with so many. I will add to it as time goes by, I'm sure. Most of you know that I have my own blog, too, and I will continue to post there more frequently.

https://www.unexpecteddetours.net

Love to each of you who have meant so much to Mom.

I know you are carrying her in your hearts, too.

❤️

4-10-21

Thanks to all of you who have reached out with your love and support. I know you share in our grief and the rollercoaster of emotions that are coming up. 

I ended up flying to Holland on Sunday, the place I can feel most comforted during this tender time. My brother Eric's son, Riley, is taking good care of Nana's house and the animals while I am away for the month, giving me the chance to begin to process the profound before tackling the practical.

Eric did a wonderful job writing Mom's obituary, which is such an incredible task. There is no way to sum up her beautiful, rich life in a few paragraphs, but he captured so much.

https://www.flintofts.com/obituaries/Gail-Ann-Beck?obId=20653226#/celebrationWall

In my heart, she is there, as always. 

It still doesn't feel real...no matter how much time we've had to prepare.

We are thinking at this point that it would be meaningful to celebrate her life on her birthday: August 21st. We're not sure of anything else but we hope you can save that date. We know there will be so many stories to tell and hugs to share. It is a great gift to have a mom who is so beloved. 

We feel that spilling over onto us and we appreciate it more than you can know.

❤️

4-2-21

It is with relief that she is no longer suffering and with heartbreak at how much we will miss her, that I have to share our world altering news: Mom died peacefully last night.

We would give anything for her to have years left to share with us but since that wasn't in the cards we were dealt, we are so grateful that she was able to die in the way she had hoped: quickly and peacefully in her own bed surrounded with love. With an incredible hospice team supporting us, Eric and I were able to be beside her holding her hands till the end. She was able to say a special goodbye to each of her beloved grandchildren and it was also a great comfort to her, to feel like she had left no stone unturned in her affection for each of her many dear friends and family members.

This last 18 months since her diagnosis has been both beautiful and brutal. She made it look a lot easier than it was. The nurse shared that most people dealing with as much pain and medication as Mom, would be nowhere near as active as she's been, especially these last months. She didn't want me to say how brave and strong she was on previous blogposts....but now I get to: she was incredibly, unbelievably brave and strong!!! She lived life to the very fullest for as long as she possibly could.

While we feel such relief that she is at peace, to wake up in a world without her feels utterly disorientating. I know we are not alone in feeling this way and we also know that we will not be alone as we learn to live with these waves of grief.

We talked with her about it and she loved the idea of a "celebration of life" in the summertime. I can only imagine how meaningful it will be to celebrate and connect over our common bond of love for her. 

I will share more soon...there's so much more I want to say about how lucky I am to have had her for a mother but today I can't even begin to articulate it. 

Gail Ann Murchison Beck

8/21/43-4/1/21

~~~~~

All that I am or ever hope to be,

 I owe to my angel mother.

~Abraham Lincoln

3-28-21

In the last month, since hospice took over Mom's care, things have begun to shift into a different gear. While she is more than willing, her body has other ideas and she is having to take an increased amount of medication to be able to manage the pain of the growing tumor in her lung. This means much more time sleeping and hooked to an oxygen tank while in bed.

Even in the midst of this, she is still very much "herself" and is really feeling the love from family and friends near and far. She's tucked up in her "nest" of a room and enjoying the signs of spring popping up in her beautiful yard. And while the visits are getting briefer, she's appreciated that the vaccine has allowed for more in person hugs. 

None of you will be surprised that she's insisting that I stick to my plans to fly to Holland on Wednesday. Eric and family will be spending special time with her while I'm away and I'm thankful to have a super flexible ticket to fly home at any time, if need be.

Until next time....thanks for your continued love and support! ❤️

Eli, Nana, & Riley (Easter 2004)

2-21-21

A quick update:

Along with getting her second Covid vaccine, Mom completed her radiation treatments last week. The treatments were painful and she hasn’t begun to feel the results yet. The doctor is very hopeful that soon she will begin to feel some relief from pain of her growing tumors. We are so hopeful, too, of course! 

At this point, since she has tried everything, we’ve come to a fork in the road and her care will now be managed by hospice (here at home). They are reassuring -and again, we are hopeful- that this will allow her more comfort and a better quality of life going forward.

It’s not an easy time but we are doing our best to take it as it comes with all the mixed and complex emotions that arise, as they do.

~~~~

It has been fun and meaningful to continue to discover old treasures and wonderful photos.

I love the birth announcement that Mimi & Papa made for Mom. Can you tell Papa was in the Navy when she was born? So, so sweet.

He sent her this hula skirt from Hawaii. 

So many touching moments.

Mom & Charlotte (who was just here for a visit yesterday!) at 16.

Thanks for continuing to send your love. 

We can feel it.

❤️